Yes, it has been a while. A very looong while. What can I say? I've been fatigued -- both physically and emotionally, have been in the grip of a significant flare, and have been trying to change medications. In short, lately, I've been a crazy woman.
Plus, my oldest cat, Patch, who has been with me for 17 years, is dying. So I've been depressed, too.
I'm also really tired of winter. Perhaps I have a touch of SADs?
In the face of these happenings, I've been loath to do much more than I need to. We're talking bare minimum here (and I do mean "bare," since the garb I wear these days tends to be little more than t-shirts and granny panties. I know: You could do without the visual, right?).
And I haven't had much to say, because I've been thinking too much. I tire myself out with my cognitive tendencies. You know how, sometimes, you think that if you hear or see one more word about RA or its effects, you're going to scream? Yeah. So that's been me lately.
I guess you could say I've been practicing avoidance. Not denial, but avoidance. And it's a very specific avoidance: the avoidance of RA-related stuff beyond my immediate experience. Sometimes, I just can't hack that stuff. And this makes me feel a little bad. Because I know that those of us in the blogosphere have been able to form a community of sorts, and that this community gives us support in ways that other people and venues can't.
But sometimes, I just want to hibernate. Because I've eaten all the salmon and berries that I could find (or, in my case, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups), and if I try to eat one more tiny berry, I'm going to throw everything all up over everybody's shoes. And we all know how much fun that is to clean up.
Anyway, I'm still here. I'm just waiting for some crocuses to pop up through the snow. Is that too much to ask? (Hmmm. This feels like an "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret" moment. Sigh.)