Things I Do Not Like

I am going to list these things in no particular order. Yes, some aggravate me more than others, but my level of pissy-ness is subject to change depending upon the weather, the smell coming from the litterboxes, the number of hairballs to be cleaned up, any changes in my medications, the onslaught of a migraine, my husband being a douche, the clicking of my neighbor's heels against the ceiling, which contestants get tossed off American Idol, or the number of Gin and Tonics I've consumed. And that's just a partial list. Have I mentioned hormones?

1. People (like my father's third wife and actually, even a few RAers) who have the attitude "If God puts you to it, God will pull you through it." I call bull. In the first place, I'm not Job. I no more believe that God has afflicted me with RA than I believe God gives a damn about who wins American Idol or who makes a touchdown in the Superbowl. I think God has more important things to worry about, like world hunger and clean drinking water and global warming. So, God didn't bring this crap upon me. Of course, neither did I bring this crap upon myself. Simply put, in this world, crap just happens. And when really bad crap happens, I believe that God's heart breaks. The best thing that I can do when crap happens to me is to try to bear it. With laughter and anger and tears. And with some faith. By faith, I mean raw, honest faith -- not the kind that results in the uttering of saccharine and unrealistic platitudes.

2. People who say that they are thankful that they have gotten RA. Again, I call bull. Sure, RA might have helped to make me a more patient and empathetic person. But did I really have a choice about that? I'd like to think that I could have improved without the "benefit" of RA. In fact, I think age pretty much brings with it that kind of warmth and wisdom. It's not like I would have been smacking my head with my hand and saying, "Gee, I wish I could have had RA so that I could be a nicer person!" And honestly, even if age didn't bring with it a certain kind of amount softening, would it have been so very terrible to have one more healthy jerk in the world?

3. Avocados. No guac for me!

4. SmartCar owners who somehow manage to take up two parking spaces. Douchenozzles.

5. People who are consistently and unrealistically upbeat and smarmy about RA. These kinds of attitudes actually can be witnessed in a few online RA communities. Look, I "get" wanting to be hopeful about the disease and the course it may take in your life. In fact, I'm all for hope -- but the realistic kind of hope that attempts to encourage you to act, to gain knowledge, to be more responsive to what is happening with your RA. While a few of us may be fortunate enough to experience a miraculous cure of our disease, most of us one million plus poor schlubs will deal with it every day of the rest of our lives. We need education and knowledge -- things that give us the opportunity to take at least some control of our disease. We don't need smarmy and unrealistic expectations.

6. RAers who cannot disagree with one another in an adult fashion. Look -- there are tons of different RA medical approaches, homeopathic approaches, physical regimens, and psychological therapies out there -- as well as a host of interpretations regarding them. And we are all individuals. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. Isn't it reasonable that we will disagree with each other occasionally about all kinds of things -- even RA? For example, you may happen to love Rituxan and guacamole, even though they make me shudder. So what? And isn't conversation how we learn new things? I can say that I have never refused to post any comment to my blog, regardless of my agreement or disagreement with the author of a comment. (Of course, spam and sales pitches are exceptions.) I think the RA community would be much better off if we were able to dialogue and disagree with each other honestly, without the pretense of sham or faux homogeneity.

7. White chocolate. It is an oxymoron. There is NO COCOA in white chocolate. It is merely white wax. Ugh.

Comments

[Laurie Grassi]

I was tempted to post a picture of an avocado, just to see what would happen, but decided to refrain – thus behaving in a very adult manner, I'm sure you'd agree. :) Laurie

P.S. I'm with you on the white chocolate, though, and a number of other things you comment on...

[RA SB]

Kim,

I love it! I'm with you on ALL counts...well, except the avacados. I do love me some guac.

But! As far as embracing RA as a positive thing in my life, no way. It does suck, and I'm so glad you said it loud and said it proud.

And I will gladly discuss any RA related issues with you in a mature way, though you are right on that count also. There are some RAers who've been bullying the net. Let's agree that we're all on the same team: Us vs. the disease, and then we should be able to, without any smugness or attitude, compare/contrast treatments.

Fabulous Post. I think this one might get printed for my memo board!!!

- RA SB

[WarmSocks]

Wow, that's quite a list.

Anyway, this guacamole-eating, white-chocolate-loving person still likes your list & your blog :D

[Kim H]

@Laurie -- The odd thing is that I think avocados look pretty cool. However, if you'd posted a pic of guac.... Let's just say I'd have thrown up in my mouth a little.... And "white" chocolate just makes my jaws ache. I've had an aversion to it since I was a tot, when I spit out a mouthful of white chocolate Easter Bunny onto the new carpet. Oops. My bad.

@WS -- Wow -- you like guac and white chocolate? Well, that's okay, I guess: So does my youngest sister. And I like her just about all of the time!

@SB -- Thanks! Maybe I've been a bit controversial with this post (isn't this the week for it?), but we really need to be able to talk truthfully is we're going to be of any help to each other.

[Lana]

Agreed on your points - well except for the avocado. I love avocado on anything. Apparently, avocado is an arthritis superfood. Now, if I would stop eating eggplant (an arthritis trigger), the balancing act would stop.

[Patti]

Wow, I agree on everything except the avocado, too! I have RA and it sucks!

[jackie]

Kim,
I "accidently" found your blog through another RA blog, and at this posting, I think I am hooked. : )
I have never "met" someone like you, but I like you already. You speak your mind. Granted, I don't cuss, and that might rattle me a little when I see it, but you have still spoken your mind. I find it refreshing.
I feel lost and confused, like I am in a maze and have no idea how to get to the cheese at the end, and there isn't anyone to help me. I think, am I crazy? Why do my legs hurt so much? Why do I keep belching after the methotrexate? Did I take my pills this morning? Why does my femur feel like it is going to break with every step all of a sudden while taking a slow walk through the mall? Did I take my pills this afternoon? OMG my ankles hurt half way to my office, I can't walk another step, WHAT IS WRONG, okay okay look normal. Walk like a bride, come on a few more steps, just a couple more, thats right, look "cool", oh look! your chair, 5 more steps, pause to act like you are reading something......walk, walk, fall into chair. Whew! Why now? I am taking my meds (aren't I?) Did I take my pills this evening? Argh!!!
Then I read your blog, and I think...whoa...I am normal. This is normal. I am not as crazy as I think I am. (Still wonder about the belching though, Prilosec helps with it.) Prednisone is my "love drug" and I can not live with out it.
This finding your blog all started cause I looked up pill organizers!! : ) I have creams for this, creams for that, pills for this, vitamins for that, argh and snort. And to think I cried when my doctor told my I had to take a bp med every day for the rest of my life 7 years ago. I think I am at 12 pills a day now, and still need fish oil and vitamin K.
I am a "newbie" Ra'er. Last June the pain started slowly, and built up till my diagonsis by MRI 3 weeks ago. All blood test negative, but obvious inflammation, and pain that prednisone helped to make disappear! I am a 38 year old female. I have 4 kids, 2 dogs, 1 guinea pig. No cats, had one, feel deeply in love and he died. Last cat for me. I do not know what these "flare ups" are that I hear about, I have constant pain.
LOVED the video link about RA, need to have hubby watch it. He is VERY supportive, he is more a "RA virgin" than I am! : ) I am confused trying to lead an even more confused person! But yet, if I hear anything else, I will vomit. Yet, I can read your blog with out feeling that way. (Loved the article on carpal tunnel, will have to show hubby that too!!) : ) We have warped senses of humor! : )
All that to say thanks for sharing what goes on in your head with people of the world. I have read so many books and articles, there is not much for the spouses and family, do you know of anything for them?
Hope this is a day you can accomplish what you want, not what you have to! : )

[Beth Feeback]

OMG eggplant is an arthritis trigger? Thank you GAWD! I have been thinking about trying to develop a taste for it as I am trying to change my eating attitudes about veggies. Now I don't have to eat that crap! Yay! Thanks Lana! And thanks Kim! I'm usually pretty Pollyanna about my arthritis, but I try not to inflict that on any fellow RA'ers. On the other hand, I wrote a song that goes: "I hate people. People suck. I hate people so much." (Repeat ad inifinitum.) Does anybody like okra? Please tell me that's a trigger food.

[Lisa Smith]

Gotta love you! Very impressed with your straight-to-the-point approach. I have read enough of the "sugar-coated, life is still grand" blogs on RA. My life is good, but with RA rearing it's bigh, fat, ugly head everytime I need to do something productive, to use your words, IT SUCKS!!!!!!! Thanks for your honest comments. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me that I couldn't look at RA for a positive prospective. Been a sufferer for going on 15 years. Doesn't get any better. Keep going friendgirl. I appreciate you. By the way, I am doing a research paper on blood types and age of diagnosis if you know anyone who would like to help me out (lisawsmith@bellsouth.net). Information will DEFINITELY be kept confidential and will only be used in a grouping of percentages by blood type and age. Just curious how these things work together. Thanks in advance. Looking forward to your next posts. Peace and Love. Lisa Smith

[Amy]

Love the post & comments. I'm a one yr RA patient, and wonder if you have read an older book The New Arthritis Breakthrough or the website roadback.org? While not completely "cured"(is there such a thing), I am much much better. Had a problem with my rheumy, he wouldn't go for it, but my family dr did. And everyone with RA, get your vitamin D levels checked. I had an RA side effect of extremely bloodshot eyes, now they're normal after taking prescription Vit. D. I'm now reading the Vitamin D Solution(very interesting and informative). Now if my left index finger would just move &/or stop swelling.